I have always had an issue with latex balloons. It's kind of a fear, kind of a loathing, and kind of a hatred. I could not ever really explain it other than just by saying I am afraid of balloons and I outed my fear of balloons in Journal Revolution. Balloons make me very uneasy. I rarely ever touched balloons. Since reading about my fear, people often ask me about it and wonder if it is really a fear of the balloon popping. Um, no. A loud popping sound doesn't really make me not want to be in the room with something unless a bullet comes out as a result of the popping sound, but to be nice and since I could never really explain it, I'd just say yes. I think getting over silly fears is important and since I am the type of friend who just does not let anything go and I try to lead by example, a couple months ago when Maria suggested I pose with some balloons we discovered on the street in Gilroy, I couldn't really say no. Anything for a photo and anything to prove a point, especially when I am always telling people to get over their fears. It's not like the balloon could kill me or anything. That is what I told myself as I brought the balloon to my lips and kissed it. It's ok, it's not like it will kill me.
My hatred of avocados was much like my hatred of balloons. I had no real reason to hate avocados. I'd never really eaten one, or much of one. Just a few nibbles here and there and a few tastes of guacamole once in a while. On a trip to New York, we dined at a restaurant where they made fresh guacamole at the table and even then, for some reason I was careful to avoid the chunky bits of avocado on my chip. Once, when Karen and I were staying with our beloved cousins in London, they served avocados and mayonnaise as an appetizer and to get out of eating it, I said I was allergic to it. Emily Post would be so proud of me!
The year before I thought I was telling a polite lie about an allergy to avocados, I found out that I am allergic to bananas! I used to eat bananas all the time. I love bananas! Then one day, Karen and I were walking from our cute Bed and Breakfast in Bergen, Norway, to the city center and had a banana on the way. About 20 minutes after I finished my banana, I thought for sure I was going to die, right there in one of the most beautiful places I'd ever been. It was a good place to die. My heart was racing, I was seeing spots, my stomach hurt so bad I thought maybe I was pregnant and didn't know it and the baby was coming out. It was awful. I got better and figured it was just a bad banana. I had another banana a few days later and the same thing happened. I decided Norwegian bananas were just bad. I got back to America and had a banana and the same thing happened. I went to the doctor and found out that I was now allergic to bananas. She told me not to eat them again, yeah-duh. No need to tell me twice.
Last Sunday, Karen and Emily came over for lunch and we had take out
from Chipotle. To be different, I decided to try their guacamole with
my chips. It was really good. I had only a few bites with my burrito
bowl but I wasn't that hungry. The next morning, there was a lot left,
so I sat here answering emails while eating guacamole on Wheat Thins. I
highly recommend it. It was very refreshing! And then, the feeling of
banana death doom came over me and all I could figure was that Chipotle
makes its guacamole with mashed bananas because suddenly I was dying.
All day I was dying. My heart was racing, my stomach throbbing, my eyes
seeing spots everywhere. So I did what any normal person on their
deathbed would do. I Twittered. Luckily, Tamara responded fast. Some
googling happened. It turns out that my polite dinner-time lie about the avocado
was not really a lie, but an instinct! It turns out that people who are
allergic to bananas are often allergic to avocados, too! OH MY BUDDHA!
It also turns out that when Maria was rousing me to kiss balloons, she
was trying to KILL ME. People allergic to bananas and avocados are
also often ALLERGIC to latex.
Well, that explains things. I should always trust my instinct.
*I'm just being funny. Maria didn't really try to kill me.
Visit Linda Woods Artworks for prints on canvas, paper, or wood for all size spaces and budgets.