they really do fly and a contest!

This morning I had to take my car back to the Honda dealer because when singing guy at Sears changed my battery it somehow set off a security code in my stereo that made it not work. The dealer has the code. It used to be that the Honda dealership was a busy place with lots of people and commotion but now that the economy sucks, it's just a bunch of men standing around the service department waiting for something to happen. Bored men everywhere. They were very eager to help the helpless woman who couldn't get her radio to work. As I stood at the driver's side door, one man sat in the passenger seat and one in the driver's seat and tried to figure it out. The passenger seat guy (who also helped me on Monday and Tuesday) said he was pretty sure the code is in my glove compartment and opened it up with great force. And then the entire  universe went  quiet. Remember when I had that great idea to start hiding my little cameras in pads with wings? Well it turns out those wings really do flap because those pads flew right out of my glove compartment! I forgot they were in there! They as in more than one. OH MY BUDDHA! They flew in slow motion and landed on the floor right at the guy's feet. He shut the glove compartment real fast and said they'd just look in the computer as the other guy made a mad dash  back to tell all his bored work buddies that the most embarrassing thing ever just happened. I said nothing. I just bed cool. I didn't react at all until I drove away and I haven't stopped laughing since then. I have to go back there next week. I think I will just put pads all over my front seat like I mean for them to be there and it's normal. They probably call me Honda Accord Pad Lady now. AAAAHHHHHH!!!

I keep reading all these blogs (and seeing tv shows) where people talk about how bad the economy is then list things you should go buy. Hmmm. I think it is really stressful to have no money and feel like you have to buy gifts for people. I also think it is stressful to think that instead you'll just make stuff for everyone but then where are you supposed to get time to do that when you are working twice as much for less money? Nobody has any time or money and we're all stressed about it. We're going to do our part to help with that. It's contest time! There will be three recipients of gifts. One winner will receive their choice of (signed) Visual Chronicles or Journal Revolution and two winners will receive their choice of whatever print they want from my etsy shop. Even if you already have our books, play anyway. You can give our book or the print as a gift and that means less you have to buy. I'll even ship your winnings directly to a friend with a nice note if you want.
Comment here and tell us what you had for lunch or share an embarrassing moment with us by midnight on December 8th for your chance to win. All names will be written on tiny pieces of paper and put in my glove compartment and winners will be selected with my eyes closed.
GO!

Comments

[Paige]

Oh...there are so many embarrassing moments, starting in first grade when the snaps on the crotch of my oh-so-70s leotard I was wearing (under my kilt) broke, and I realized I had forgotten to put on underwear..up to just last week when I realized that the reason my butt was cold was because there was a giant, vertical slash through the rear of my (favorite, of course) brown cords. Apparently, I am a life-long exhibitionist, though no one who knows me knows. As for lunch: split pea soup, and french fries pilfered from my husband's plate. I'm a cheap, diner date.

[Jake]

lunch today: gluten-free pizza (OMG!! Soooo good!).

embarrassing moments in Jake history: one specific to today: I used to think that "narcotics" were only illicit street drugs until I found out that they were also prescription pills. Then I thought that all drugs, illicit and pill form were narcotics. i.e. EVERY drug such as penacilin, anti-inflamatories, estrogen, etc. I was told today that only the addictive drugs are considered narcotics. Go figure.
I was embarrassed. So much for my high IQ.

I think that you should put all named tiny papers in the glove box and have singing guy open the glove box and the one that lands nearest him is the winner. heheh.

[rachel whetzel]

I block embarrassing from my memory, but today I had a salad with Bleu Cheese made from SCRATCH, and Mushroom Bree Soup. YUM.

[Lelainia]

I missed my lunch because I was in a drug induced sleep. For dinner I will be having veal, basmati rice and a broccoili casserole. It's the fastest, easiest thing I can cook and still mostly lie on the couch.

*is grumpy*

[barbe]

My lunch today wasn't so fab, rather boring! just crackers, smoked chedder and olives with a persimmon for desert.

but it is super nice of you to give stuff away, must add this to my blogpost today

[Mary Jo]

A smorgash board of crackers and hummus. Yum!

Embarrasing moment... oh gee.. here i go:

So in middle school, I was walking to class in the rain (well, typical weather for the northwest) and a portion of the way there was some mud. So I jumped over this big puddle and slip. BAM! on my butt I go. All covered in mud as lovely "mature" classmates go by. I stood there all muddy waiting for one of my "friends" to help me out. I don't believe anyone did. My dad brought me some of my older sister's clothing which was huge on me because of my stick woman frame at the time. Fond memories. Ah... something to scrapbook. ;)

[Thien-Kim]

OMG! That's hilarious. I keep some in my glove box too. A gal's gotta be prepared, right? For lunch today I had a Vietnamese Banh Mi. Hmmm, the last time I took my 3 yo with me to buy tampons and pads, she said very loudly at Target, "Mama, are these diapers for your VAGINA?" Of course she said Vagina several times. I guess it's my fault for teaching her vagina and not hoo-ha for her girl parts.

[Bobby C]

:::Embarassing Moment:::
I cannot believe I am telling this again!

I spent my youth growing up at a yacht club on Lake Erie. We had a 34ft Hatteras, but there was a divine rule that my father instilled upon us from the first moment we set foot upon this boat. There will be no “pooping” in the bathroom. We could only “pee”. We still cannot understand the sense in this rule; even today.

Our father forced us to walk a distance to the yacht club to do our natural business in a public restroom. My Mother was even forced to carry out this daily ritual. The POOP RULE would end up causing me a tremendous amount of embarrassment, and allow my sister the opportunity to humiliate me at any moment for years to come. All in fun of course!

I was 12 yrs old and had a crush on a girl named “Janel”. She would frequently walk from her father’s boat to hang out with me. I was really infatuated with her. She was a very beautiful girl! One morning my parents were nowhere to be found. I awoke with what could be described as that cramping feeling, or maybe a turtle was poking its head out of my rectum. It was horrible. My sister was 10, and amazingly convinced me that I would likely not make it to the public bathroom designated by my father as bowel movement central. She talked me into using the bathroom aboard the boat. Regardless of the pain and discomfort I found myself standing in the ever so slow rocking “head” wondering if my father would really know if I broke his cardinal rule. Alas, my sister has a bright idea. Just use a garbage bag as a liner and pitch it in the dumpster across the lot. WOW, she was thinking. So, I did just as she suggested. Not thinking, I had just began to relieve myself when it occurred to me. My sister handed me a white trash liner! OH CRAP! It was too late. I quickly exited the boat with the perfectly tied, but hard to conceal bag.

Walking down the dock my stomach started to spin, and my throat began to close. My sister was coming in my direction with Janel. Oh my god! Here I stand with a white trash liner and its obvious contents. There was no point in concealing it, but I could possibly dash past them without anyone taking notice. As I pass by; Janel and my sister stopped. My sister asked “ what’s in the bag?!?” Then Janel followed with the same question. My sister was smiling. I am sure I changed multiple shades of red. What felt like forever came to me in a few seconds. It’s bacon grease! Then I dashed off to the dumpster.

I will never forget the embarrassment of that moment, knowing that anytime my sister could have let the proverbial cat out of the bag! Later, I would have experienced this story over and over again. When my sister felt the need to tell my friends, or the person I was dating. It still is her favorite story to bring up at unexpected moments, or when she feels the need to get a laugh from other people. I still hate the “POOP RULE”.

[Jamie]

I think I do the embarassment blocking too!

Lunch was tomato-red pepper soup and light rye toast. Yum.

Thanks for the giveaway opportunity!

[Linda]

I must be blocking my embarrassing moments too because I can't remember one. For lunch I had a Oreo Macfreeze. That's really bad for you, isn't it? :)

[Debbie]

Lunch today (eaten in five minutes at my desk because I was too busy) was a cheese stick, some edamame, and a fruit leather.

[Lori W]

let's see....lunch today: was sort of spread out across the morning...leftover mac n cheese, grapes, popcorn, then a piece of cake..
that doesn't make me sound so healthy, huh?!!!;)

[Ngaire]

MMM.. ok not lunch yet here.. bit for breaky ( breakfast) I had.
a ham cheese and tomato croissant, then half a chocolate croissant and then half an apple and custard danish, with lashings of orange juice ( with pulp) and a Lady Grey tea with two sugars.

YUM!

Peace.
Ngaire
xx

[Laura J]

Lunch was a cup of yummy butternut bisque soup and a slice of oatmeal bread.

[Verna G.]

Today I had leftover spaghetti and an apple pie.

That story was hilarious! Thank you for making my day and bringing out a much needed laugh!

[lee]

Last week I was driving my honda, and I hurt a rattle and I thought It was my brakes. I phoned the place where all my work is done and said it was an emergency I had to get in because my brakes were failing and snow was coming. In I go and the owner of the place says whats the problem and I proceed to tell him. He says lets take a little ride and maybe I can hear it. So he is driving and I am in the passenger seat and no noise of course. So he says what side was it on I say the right side. He gets out of the car and goes over to my side and says you have a rock in your wheel. Well lets just say I am never going back there again, I bet he is still laughing.l He laughed all the way back to the shop

[jill scripps]

i had a baked potato.
my supper was a bit more exciting.
peppermint ice cream
and then chips + salsa.
in that order.

and i hope i win a print all for myself.

[Teresa]

I was in a restaurant with my four-year old. A very heavy woman walked by and my darling daughter asked loudly, "Does that lady have a baby in her belly?" I can only hope she didn't hear.

Lunch was canned cream of broccoli soup and crackers. Ho hum.

Thanks for the give-away!

[Kimberley McGill]

I've been silently reading your blog for ages - always a bright spot in my day when my google reader alerts me to a new post at Journal Revolution.

Embarrassing Moment:

Several years ago I was invited to join a group of "forward thinking" professionals that got together for an early morning breakfast and speaker twice a month. I remember feeling a bit intimidated when I began attending by all those forward thinking dressed to the nines ladies, but I loved the speakers they had. One morning I found my spot at one of the round tables that filled the room. It all began well enough, breakfast was served and the speaker began. The guy was funny, really funny. So funny that at one point one of his clever witty pronouncements caught me off guard - right when I had just got the orange juice in my mouth but before I swallowed it. Yeah. I proceeded to spray all those lovely proper ladies with an orange juice spit bath - I let out a big guffaw and out it projected clear across the table. To make things even worse, we were sitting at a table right in the front- the speaker had seen the spectacle and stop to stare in disbelief, which prompted everyone in the room to do the same. I apologized profusely - the ladies made some mumbled and not too sincere "it's ok" and other - unusual noises - the kind that one might make because they are grossed out at the thought that they have orange juice AND spit all over their clothes and (and this is literally true) their faces. Everything after that is kind of a blur in the swirling sink hole of complete mortification. I like the people that I hang out with these days better and they seem to like me too - of course, I haven't spewed orange juice spit all over them yet. We are a group that laughs a lot, so I drink very carefully!

[Liz Ness]

The lights were low and there was a romantic mood about the place, shattered every few seconds by the sound of balls hitting pins and the pins hitting the floor. But, I clung to the romance of it all, refusing to budge an inch into reality. After all, in the next lane, there were six yummy guys -- all from the football team. And, they could bowl.

"Hey!" I thought, "Maybe they'd notice me if I laid 'em all down. If I got a strike, maybe one of those cute boys from the college football team would ask little ol' freshman me out. Or flirt. Or just look in my general direction."

So I wiggled my skinny butt (it was over 20 years ago, when my butt was skinny), made a production out of the line up, concentrated sligtly while slightly glancing over to see if they were watching (and, they were), and let that ball fly right down the lane BEHIND ME. Oh yeah, that caught their attention for sure. That and my horror as I watched it smack into the back wall and nearly strike my girlfriend.

Funny thing about romantic bowling alleys, there aren't any rocks to hide under. I know, because I looked.

[amanda]

Ok so I am compelled to do both LOL!

I had Spaghetti for lunch b/c I made enough to feed a small army last night.

Now for my embarrassing moment.

One time at band camp, no seriously it happened at band camp, we were rehearsing our dances for parades. We were doing one I really liked called boom-ca where we would spin around sort of crouched in a circle then kick as high as we could in the air.Well I got really into it and kicked so high that I fell flat on my back. Then my band director said"See, now that is dedication, Campbell fell flat on her back!" So then everyone turns back and looks at me and starts laughing.

I'm such a band nerd :)

[Tina]

MMMM, I couldn't wait for dinner and so I had the Chicken Marsala I had made for dinner. It was hard to stop. I am actually embarrassed everyday. I meet so many people in my work and in my past jobs that when I see them out and about I really have forgotten their names. I remember the most intimate details about them but I forget their names. And I am always with someone and am compelled to introduce them to each other--it is just always so awkward.

[Kim]

OMg..the "Poop Rule" comment aboove made me laugh my ass off!!! HILARIOUS..he should win just because its totally fuuny!

Anyway lunch today...Cilantro jalapeno hummus form traders joes that tastes EXACTLY like Guacamole so I ate it with tortilla chips. you should try it:)!

[Nadia]

oh I LOVE the pad story! I had veggie chili for lunch - homemade - YUM! most embarrassing was in the 6th grade where I had a pad that my mom wrapped in tin foil for me (before the wrapped pad days) and I had it in my shirt pocket and it fell out. a bunch of boys scrambled for it as they thought it was cake. I of course was frantically trying to get it away from them as I wanted to avoid the embarrassment of them opening it and not finding cake, but a pad! of course they were faster than me and cracked open the tin foil at which point they dropped it on the ground and ran. I was left standing there staring down at my pad as a group of people were laughing all around me. it was humiliating at the time, but now I chuckle at it and wonder if those boys still remember that day. ciao!

[Maria]

I was cracking up with your post! Too, too funny! I am right up there with the people stressing out about gifts...I'm totally stressed out! I know it all too well...I think I'm losing sleep over it! And I, too, blogged about a bunch of things to buy, LOL. You know, when I get stressed about money, all I can think about is shopping! Makes no sense whatsoever, but then again, when do I make any sense? :D