uh, wait

I always think it is so weird when people say they'd pay to see me or Karen drunk. I have no idea what people think I would do or say when drinking that I don't do now. Would I swear more? Support more liberal causes? Would I make more art with products full of chemicals and acid? Would I maybe take more photos of food before  I eat it?  I don't know what the excitement would be and I don't think anyone will really find out because I don't drink. I may have a glass of wine here or there but that is about it. I prefer my sedation in pill form, cookie form, and forms that don't taste like Robitussin. The other day I sarcastically twittered that perhaps I shouldn't blog after my surgery because I might swear or something while doped up on pain killers. Many people emailed that they'd love for me to blog while on drugs. Your wish has been granted.
It's 10:03 on Wednesday night and I am fucked up.
My face is a bruised and swollen mess. I have had the annoying and ill-fitting flipper in my mouth for 6 hours and want to smash it with a hammer. It doesn't fit right and I know my dentist thinks it is the drugs and swelling talking, but the angle of it is all wrong which I will prove with photos and a diagram when I go back in a few days when the swelling has gone down and the fake tooth flipper is still wrong in my mouth. If there's one thing I know, it's a bad angle. I'm willing to bet that the maker of the flipper has a house full of crown molding and baseboards all cut at the wrong corner angles.  The dentist kindly informed me that my dental insurance denied my claim for the flipper so for  $400,  I want a fake tooth thing that looks and feels right for 6 months until I get the real fake tooth. Right now, it's just making me drool. Well, drool while being annoyed. Annoyed, fucked up and slow.
It's taken me a long time to write this. Partly because it hurts to look at anything and partly because the world is in slow motion at the moment, so when I do look around I have to stop  and go  uh  wait,  ok wait... uh... uh...uh...wait. 
Very exciting.

Thanks for all your well wishes and support. I did get all your emails and just haven't had a chance to respond. THANK YOU!!! Double thanks to everyone who emailed me and told me what this procedure was really going to be like. WOW. Choose the IV sedation, people.

**UPDATE** Day two is worse. And, here's the MOFO flipper.

Comments

[Sandy]

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. I hate it when Dr.'s don't listen to us...the Patients....the ones who actually pay their salaries.

I like you don't drink and speak my mind while sober. Great post, glad you got it all out even though you hurt like hell.

I know you won't let them try to tell you you're wrong, don't let them. You paid for a service and don't expect anything less. If you don't stand up for yourself no one else will, well maybe your family but you get my point.

[Jan Curran]

I spent 3 months with my bite off and a sore gum and it was all caused by that damn fake teeth thing (4 of them!) -- so speak up and tell the dentist how wrong it is. I didn't complain enough.
I'm so sorry you got bruised. That's just a crying shame and made me so sad to read that. Wish I lived around the corner so I could come over and make you some sea shell casserole. Grab your night night and go take a nap. Lots of people are sending you love, me included.

[Jake]

I hope that the fucked up-ed-ness has shown itself as a little reprieve in all of this.
Thinking of you, sistah.
Tell those people that your flipper is wrong. Cause a scene, even.
:)

[amanda]

Yea I agree with Jake cause a scene! There is nothing worse than a sore mouth or an annoyance in your mouth.

[V-Grrrl]

I'm stupid and not on drugs and wondering what the hell you're talking about. Flipper? Maybe I don't want to know. But I do want you to be comfortable after going through all you've been through. I think we should start a Facebook Page that's all about Protesting Poor Flipper Placement.

[Liz Ness]

But, what did he say about the fangs? (Heh-heh...) Seriously, I hope you feel better soon and that for this, six months flies by in a few seconds.

[liz]

this sounds horrible...just horrible. those pain pills are awful. i think they make you feel worse if that is at all possible. feel better!

[Nadia]

oh dear...I would pay money to have this nightmare over for you. poor thing!

[Maria]

Thinkinf of you and sending happy and healing thoughts yours way!