JOURNAL REVOLUTION

do not pee here

We are back from San Francisco and I know I say this every time I come back, but I love that place. I want to eat it and drink it and sleep all over it. San Francisco still gets so excited about books, art, food and life. It's a celebration that is contagious.Though, someone needs to tell San Francisco that the election is over. They can take down all the Vote for Obama signs. Obama won!  They could replace those signs with  DO NOT PEE HERE.  This year I saw more people  urinating on the  street  or sidewalk than ever before. I am not even talking about  homeless people. I get that most stores and restaurants in SF only let paying customers use their bathrooms, but if you look like a tourist, just pop in into a hotel! There are bathrooms in the lobbies. Really, there is no need to pee all over a city. It's just gross. Some other things I noticed while we were in the City:

~I can't escape balls. They do add a bit of cheer to life so I am glad I see them everywhere!
~People really are not buying anything. We saw very few people walking around with shopping bags.
~Homeless people approach women to ask for money more than they approach men.
~Lots of  people littering. This is totally unacceptable. Use a garbage can! WTF?
~Lots of young people smoking. This is beyond me. I have a lot of friends who smoke and that scares me (but they aren't twenty years old anymore). I don't understand why anyone today still smokes or why anyone would start. Who wants cancer? I really do not understand smoking in a huge crowd of people where everyone is standing so close together that you can feel the heart beating of the person next to you. You know those crowd smokers would be the first ones to complain if you sprayed heavy perfume on while standing next to them, too. I did notice that a lot of the smokers were European and that locals would cough really loud  as smokers walked by. Coughing: it's the new symbol of protest!
~I love watching people take photos. Everyone in SF was taking photos of everything and asking each other to take photos of them with their friends.  Even joggers were stopping to take photos!  Not once was I ever asked to stop taking photos.  San Francisco, will you marry me?
~I had the same conversation about art and cameras too many times in two days. Many people told me if they had a nicer camera they'd be a better artist. Well that is just about the silliest thing I have ever heard and that is what I told them. The only art supply that matters is the one in your head.  It's not like the art masters had the finest Canon digital cameras! Use your hands, use your eyes, use your imagination!
~Things I remember from my childhood about San Francisco are still the same and still inspire me in the same ways they did 25 years ago.
~People get way too excited over the Christmas tree in Union Square. It's not even decorated that great. The one at Pier 39 is cuter!  The Union Square tree was for sure not worth standing around 2 hours waiting for it to be lit up. Soooo anti-climactic. You should always trust the Jewish girls on matters related to Christmas trees.

I'll be uploading more of my San Francisco photos in the next few days and will link to them.

I am thrilled to be an Honorary Gutter Girl this week!  My mission was to create some art about my favorite four letter word. Go take a look and  be inspired by the art of the Gutter Girlz.

ahhh, good times

Way back in the 80's, Karen and I lived on a diet of french fries and ice cream which we ate as we'd wait in the rain for AAA to tow our broken down car. French fries were pretty much all we could afford and it was pretty much any given day that our crappy cars would break down. We go around LA now with visiting friends and point out places our cars died like they are places tourists must see. It seems like our cars always broke down in the rain. The harder it rained, the worse it got ~ like a mall parking exit line during peak holiday shopping time. Ahhh, good times.
We are reliving the 80's only it's not really as good because french fries and ice cream are my diet because it's all I can really chew and a  Volvo and Mercedes that break down in the rain are way more expensive to fix than a VW Rabbit or Carmengia (oh how we loved our yellow Carmengia!). There were certain parts of the 80's we really only wanted to live once. This week Karen's car broke down after she took me for my surgery and last night as my husband was coming home from work in Storm '08, his car broke down on the freeway. WTF?  Both cars will be out of the shop tonight. We've had enough of the cars breaking down and the bad health. Universe, you can leave us alone now.
I got my stitches out today and my Mo Fo Flipper redesigned so it fits much better now. I can once again go in public without drooling or gagging! While I was with the dentist, Dustin was having cancer shoulder operated on and he is home now and fine. He even took photos in post op and emailed them to me. What a good husband!
We've decided to go ahead and continue our tradition of the San Francisco trip despite everything going wrong. We're just going to cut it a day short thanks to all these added expenses lately. I wonder what adventure awaits us? I am going to leave my laptop and work at home but will twitter* and flickr from the City by the Bay-ay-ay.
We both wish you all a very happy Thanksgiving and if you eat anything really good you better rush here and tell us what it is, where to get it ,or how to make it! Take pictures of it, too!
Thank you for your support and encouragement and for sharing your lives with us through your comments and your art.

*and through Facebook which I still hate.

***UPDATE*** As we were driving in my Honda to the Volvo dealer to pick up Dustin's car, my airbag alert came on to tell me if we get in an accident my air bags won't work and I will die a painful death. Great.

When I return from my trip where  hopefully we will not get in a car accident and die without airbags, I will write about a fun day spent with photographer Jayel Aheram. He has posted a few photos from our day together on flickr. You can also see some of his photography from his Harsh Desert series in Sam Harris's music video for Imagine/The Voice.

come on in

Time hasn't been my friend today. I started working on one thing, looked up and four hours went by! The odd thing is I don't feel like I actually did anything but doing nothing seemed to take a long time.
I did get my newest Art House in my etsy shop. I love making these houses. LOVE IT!!! Years ago I contacted a woodworker to cut the houses for me out of my own patterns and I  have a limited supply of the wood bases left. When I see my stack of houses getting shorter I get nervous that the neighborhood is getting smaller.
If you'd like to see more photos of this house, click here.

not nothing

My misery and suffering is getting better  in some ways. The swelling has gone down and I am not purple anymore but the stitches are really annoying and that MO FO flipper continues to be the bane of my existence, but I am doing my best to get back to my normal routine. I have chewed gum, and  eaten toast and french fries (chewed on the other side) so I think I might be on the road to semi-recovery. The pain is more manageable, too.
On Wednesday, I go to get the MO FO flipper readjusted and I go back to get my stitches out (Thank Buddha! They are so itchy) and on Wednesday my husband goes to have  surgery on that thing that was on his shoulder that ended up not really being not nothing even though they took so long to get the results to us that I decided it meant all was well. Wednesday will be busy.
Wednesday is also the day before our annual trip to San Francisco that I am sitting here at this very moment wondering if we should take.
Our wise Nana used to always tell us that traditions were a very bad thing because once they stopped happening, it'd be very, very sad. She was, of course, the Queen of Traditions. Seven years ago, Dustin and I started our own Thanksgiving tradition of kissing our families goodbye-ye-ye and being alone on Thanksgiving.  As a married couple without children, we thought it important that we have our own traditions. Our tradition is to spend Thanksgiving together in San Francisco eating ourselves into oblivion, taking photos of everything our creative eyes see, napping when we want to, and just generally BEING there. We love it. We want to love it again this year. And, despite the chunk of money spent on my surgery, the hard year we've had financially (that damn strike!) and what discomfort Dustin will be in on Wednesday, we still both want to go because it just wouldn't be the same not to. Nana was right. It's just too sad when the tradition doesn't happen. So I think that Thursday morning, Dustin and his gimpy shoulder and me and my gimpy face will make our annual trip up to the City and for a couple days forget about everything.
Besides, I got a really, really good deal on the hotel and I hate to let a good deal go to waste.

***While I've been recovering I worked on some art including a Spirit House. I'll put it in my shop today.***

determined

I'm determined to leave the house and run a few errands today so I decided I should just take a break from the misery and get back into a bit of my normal routine. I'm almost at the part of my routine that is normal- sitting here writing about myself -but the part that is missing is a cup of tea and peanut butter cups. I will solve the tea problem in just a minute!
There's a new interview with me over at Illustrating Stories. Go check it out. I was still perky when I answered the questions.  Awww. Thanks for a fun interview, Liz!

Also generating some buzz this week is a new print ad campaign for the MFA program at UCR. I'm loving their re-branding! I especially love it because I did the photography for the ads. I put a few more photos (with notes) from the shoot in my flickr.

torturing myself

I'm still really miserable and still can't really eat so I thought I'd torture myself by leaving my tv on the Food Network while I dozed in and out of sleep today. I guess I haven't seen much of the food network lately because I was shocked at how different Tyler Florence suddenly looks in this year's Thanksgiving special. Oh, wow! His current weight situation made me want to try some of his recipes even more! And after watching that Semi-Homemade lady, I can tell you I never need to try any of her recipes. They all looked gross and she looks the proof of that. If her recipes were good, she'd be fatter and less Stepfordy. I drooled over everything Paula Deen was making, as did she. I love her!
I got totally grossed out watching Ace of Cakes. What is with all the hairy people? All the cake bakers and decorators had really bad hair that looked dirty or un-combed, had on filthy clothes and didn't wear aprons  or hair nets and they touched the fondant and cakes with their bare hands. Ok, I get the bare hands thing, but why do they have to have Kurt Cobain hair? I decided I want to see only clean people baking cakes. I totally get that they are artists but when your art is something people EAT, don't be gross. Don't pet a dog then touch frosting. Wear an apron at least.
I must've slept through Emeril because I saw none of him. Or has he stopped having tv shows since his pots, pans and seasonings are everywhere? His recipes were good and he was pudgy. See, I am on to something here! Well, ok really I only know that one recipe was good because I only ever made one- his banana cream pie. It was delish (so delish that it was worth the allergic reaction. So totally worth it).  But the food at his restaurants in Vegas was very good.
The day goes by really slow when you spend it on the couch watching food shows and alternating between lusting and wanting to barf.
I'm supposed to try chewing gum tomorrow to loosen my jaw up.  I can't wait to wake up! Is there pizza flavored gum? I wonder if Tyler Florence has invented any. I'm not sure how I won't be needing the Heimlich maneuver with the gum and the MO FO flipper both in my mouth, but I am sure I will remember every hilarious detail. I might have to get the video camera out for this!

uh, wait

I always think it is so weird when people say they'd pay to see me or Karen drunk. I have no idea what people think I would do or say when drinking that I don't do now. Would I swear more? Support more liberal causes? Would I make more art with products full of chemicals and acid? Would I maybe take more photos of food before  I eat it?  I don't know what the excitement would be and I don't think anyone will really find out because I don't drink. I may have a glass of wine here or there but that is about it. I prefer my sedation in pill form, cookie form, and forms that don't taste like Robitussin. The other day I sarcastically twittered that perhaps I shouldn't blog after my surgery because I might swear or something while doped up on pain killers. Many people emailed that they'd love for me to blog while on drugs. Your wish has been granted.
It's 10:03 on Wednesday night and I am fucked up.
My face is a bruised and swollen mess. I have had the annoying and ill-fitting flipper in my mouth for 6 hours and want to smash it with a hammer. It doesn't fit right and I know my dentist thinks it is the drugs and swelling talking, but the angle of it is all wrong which I will prove with photos and a diagram when I go back in a few days when the swelling has gone down and the fake tooth flipper is still wrong in my mouth. If there's one thing I know, it's a bad angle. I'm willing to bet that the maker of the flipper has a house full of crown molding and baseboards all cut at the wrong corner angles.  The dentist kindly informed me that my dental insurance denied my claim for the flipper so for  $400,  I want a fake tooth thing that looks and feels right for 6 months until I get the real fake tooth. Right now, it's just making me drool. Well, drool while being annoyed. Annoyed, fucked up and slow.
It's taken me a long time to write this. Partly because it hurts to look at anything and partly because the world is in slow motion at the moment, so when I do look around I have to stop  and go  uh  wait,  ok wait... uh... uh...uh...wait. 
Very exciting.

Thanks for all your well wishes and support. I did get all your emails and just haven't had a chance to respond. THANK YOU!!! Double thanks to everyone who emailed me and told me what this procedure was really going to be like. WOW. Choose the IV sedation, people.

**UPDATE** Day two is worse. And, here's the MOFO flipper.

two more sleeps

Today We're FEELIN' GROOVY about:
~Southwest Airlines fixes its mistakes immediately (though, it does not apologize.  But, I'll take a fix over an apology any day)
~If I Were A Boy by Beyonce. We're loving this song.
~Talking to people from the South.  People in Alabama (especially those at Earth Creations clothing company) are so funny, so nice, and so willing to invite you for biscuits or pie. I just hope they would invite me even if my name still were Goldberg. And if I had a wife.
~Shredded BBQ chicken from Trader Joe's. I am addicted to it. It's in a tub in the section near dips, pot roast, and pre-made salads.
~A script thingy from Greasemonkey makes Flickr user-friendly and likable again. Whew.
~Pam. Best International Assistant Ever.

Our Bêtes Noires:
~There's only one episode of True Blood left this season. I will miss Tara the most. I know most people watch for the vampires. I watch for her. That actress should win an Emmy.
~Having nobody but me to blame.
~The iced green tea at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. Don't bother getting it. It's gross. It tastes like a combo of band-aids and bubble gum. Just get it from Starbucks where it is good. But, if you are at Coffee Bean and they have their 7-Layer bars, for sure get one of those.
~People keep calling me before 9am as they drive their kids to school or on their way to work just to say hi. So early. So annoying. I don't want to listen to anyone's kids that early in the morning. The sad thing is this isn't the first time I am bringing it up. My friends don't get it. No matter how many times I say STOP CALLING ME WITH YOUR BRATS SCREAMING IN THE BACKGROUND or STOP CALLING ME AT THE FUCKING CRACK OF DAWN   or  IS MY HOUSE ON FIRE? CUZ IT BETTER BE IF YOU ARE CALLING SO EARLY they remain oblivious to what time it is. Where is Morris Day when you need him? Oh, and by the way, don't call Karen after 8PM unless her house is on fire.
~Only 2 more sleeps until THE FLIPPER.

flipper

On Thursday I was sitting here writing an email and swirling around in my  desk chair while listening to The Bee Gees singing ....  talk in ev-er-lasting woooords... when suddenly my tooth fell out into my mouth. For a second I thought I might be asleep and having a nightmare because it was just the right amount of reality combined with terror and disgust. I spit the tooth out into one hand and with the other I felt my eyes to make sure they were still there. If it were a nightmare, they might be gone, too. They were there and open. I ran to the bathroom but as soon as I got in front of the mirror I was afraid to see what my new smile was going to look like. I was also afraid there was going to be blood and that when I fainted I'd hit my head on the counter and die. Although, death would be cheaper than a dental implant. There was no blood and there is still a small bit of the tooth there so when I smile it's not totally gross. It feels gross. And, I am not really smiling at the moment.
I was doing my best to be very careful with that mo fo cracked tooth so that I could wait to get the implant in the beginning of 2009 so at least some of it would be covered by my dental insurance (though most of the cost of the implant is not covered by insurance, just the extraction is. I used most of my coverage for 2008 on the Exploding Tooth incident earlier in the year). Now I can't wait due to the pain, risk of infection and it's really ugly. Wednesday is implant day!  Karen is going with me because IV sedation is way more fun with your sister and I know there's no way she will forget to have the doctor give me lots of Vicodin and extra for her because she will suffer vicariously through me. I won't get the actual tooth on that day. It's just the removal of the tooth and the implantation of the thing they attach the fake tooth to that takes 6 months to heal if I don't need a bone graft. In between Wednesday and six months from now, I'll have a fake tooth on a stupid retainer thing called a flipper that is already annoying the hell out of me and I don't even have it yet.

I had that stupid retainer thing when I was thirteen and am having annoyance flashbacks.

welcome yourself to my life

We had the best time in San Francisco! It went way too fast and I will do a little recap of some of our good moments as soon as I have a chance to go through my 800 photos so I can show the moments, too. The three of us were photo-taking daredevils who enjoyed every laughter filled second we were together in the most magical of real places.
It was good to have that little break and today as I got back to reality I was pretty quickly reminded of something funny yet totally annoying that keeps happening. Whenever I cancel an appointment, the canceled appointment taker never cancels it and I get in trouble or bothered or something. ALWAYS. I canceled a hair appointment and two days later the receptionist who took my cancellation call called me to confirm my canceled appointment. I canceled a doctor's appointment and the receptionist who took that cancellation call called me all mad the morning of my appointment asking me where I was. Repeat that process many times for various types of appointments and meetings and welcome yourself to my life.
After my second opinion appointment with the surgeon in the fancy office with the  carved wood tree on the wall, I called the office of the first opinion where the surgeon was just gonna give me a sleeping pill and yank my tooth out then drill a screw into my jaw without real sedation and CANCELED a second appointment with him that was scheduled for tomorrow. I had an in-depth conversation with the receptionist who asked why I was canceling the appointment and I told her I preferred the second opinion and would be going with the other surgeon. Today she called to confirm that appointment. That appointment that I CANCELED!!! WTF? Normally when the people call to confirm appointments I have already canceled I am nice and remind them I canceled it and remind them of our conversation* and they just say oh yeah without a sorry for bothering you. But now I am annoyed and even though it is killing me to be rude and not call back, I am not calling her back to say DUH! WE ALREADY HAD THIS CONVERSATION. How many times do I have to cancel the same appointment? What is the  standard count?
I jinxed Karen when we were in SF. She called the front desk at the hotel and asked for a late check out which they happily gave us. When we had not checked out at the mandated earlier time, the front desk called our room to see why we had not checked out yet. Uh, you gave us a later check out time, remember?!

*I always keep track of who I talked to and when now because I know they are just going to call.