JOURNAL REVOLUTION

new projects, journals and a contest

I feel kind of weird. Not bad weird but normal weird. I feel that kind of weird you feel when you get a new CD and you have to take one you love out of the CD player to make room for the new one. Ok, that might be a lame comparison since everyone but us listens to music on playlists on MP3 players now.
Still, weird.
We've been working on a project for over a year and the end result will be a new book. It's been  a secret dream project and we are so thankful for those people who kept our secret and our dream alive during a really difficult year. We've been getting a lot of questions about the new book and we'll be talking about it in more detail in the coming weeks.  The new book reveals bold, fearless self-expression and truly mixes the media of life and art. It's wonderfully inspiring in a totally different way than our first two books are. We are so excited about this project and book and are thrilled to be sharing it with you soon.
But, there's that weird. The weird of loving the new when we still have the old staring at us. We don't want to neglect our first two books (that we love so much)  so why not give some away to a good home?  A contest sounds nice. And to get you started in expressing yourself, handmade book artist Kathleen Tennant has donated one of her handmade journals for the lucky winner!
The First Prize: Your choice of a signed copy of Visual Chronicles or Journal Revolution and this lovely handmade journal. If you have the books already, they'd be an awesome holiday gift with the journal!
The Second Prize: Your choice of any print from my etsy shop.

Comment here and tell us what you had for lunch to have your name written on a little piece of paper, tossed in a box, then shaken around. Winners will be chosen at random with my eyes closed. If we're really lucky, maybe Suki will stick her paw in and grab your name. Aw, that would be a cute photo.  Please comment by November 29th.

Remember, it doesn't matter what you had for lunch or how good it was, just that you comment. Of course, we do love a good story.

thank you annoyance

November freaks me out. The sudden onset of thankfulness that lasts approximately 25 days and makes people gush about how fake happy they are about every tiny detail in their lives then promptly forget those tiny details right after the pie is served annoys me. The pie part doesn't annoy me. The marshmallow topped sweet potatoes don't annoy me either. I'm not even listening to Cherokee Nation on repeat as I write this, though in the spirit of Thanksgiving we all should listen to that.
Isn't part of being alive being aware that you are alive and not just in November? How do you be alive every day and not be thankful?I swear I wake up every morning totally shocked that I am not dead. Given our luck, it's really amazing. My alarm goes off and I am all Oh My Buddha! I am totally fucking alive! I might have time to watch all the episodes of Glee that I recorded! And there are cookies in the kitchen! BEST DAY EVER!  This happens every day of the year, not just November. My day NEVER goes as I think it will. I don't ever end up having time to watch the Glee marathon. Everywhere I go it takes a long time because something always happens and then I am aware and thankful for those things, even when they are annoying. Life would be so boring if nothing ever happened.  I am pretty sure the day I will have time to sit and watch my homemade Glee marathon will be the day my DVR will break. I'll be less thankful and more annoyed that day.  I think the Twenty-Five Days of Thankfulness gas that stores pump their their air vents has the opposite effect on me. It just makes me jumpy when the fake love starts oozing from people.
I totally would've sucked at living in the 60's.

*Before our relatives get all commenty: yes, we were BORN in the 60's but we weren't really living in the 60's if you get my drift.

coughing, sneezing & slow learners

We've been having to go out in to the world where grown men also happen to be lately and it's just grossing us out. It's cold and flu season and men just don't know what do with with themselves and how to do it politely or quietly.
We learned long ago that straight creatures with penises who also poop and pee can't go more then ten minutes without making a comment about pooping, peeing,or their penises. The ones who can't poop, pee, or use their penises for recreational fun need to talk about these things even more. As if that is attractive.
We're pretty sure that readers of this blog are not older men. But perhaps readers of this blog are women raising boys who will become men. Friends, what you tell your sons about coughing and sneezing in public is crucial. Explaining that it spreads germs and is just gross has no affect on boys or men. The only thing that affects them is their dicks.Try this:
Honey, every time you cough or sneeze in public without covering your mouth, your penis will get smaller. After the third time, it will just fall off. You will have to pee and poop through a bag attached at your hip and sex will never happen. EVER. For real!
Start young, please, even if it means you have to refer to it as a wee-wee. They are slow learners.

sweet free-shipping treat

Pssst....I'm offering free shipping on all the cupcake prints in my shop today. They make great gifts!

Inner Peace and FREE SHIPPING!

I  snuck into my art closet last night and created a new piece, Inner Peace. I can always find inner peace in my little art space!  I am offering free shipping on all original art on canvas shipped to addresses in the USA and Canada this week. Thanks for looking! My shop is here.

there's a reason, dear

My husband has a bad case of food poisoning courtesy of a meal from Red Robin. He does get injured often but he's rarely sick. He doesn't seem to  ever get headaches or stomach aches, so when he is sick, he is really sick. A few years into our marriage, I woke one night to the horrid sight and sounds of him barfing into our bathtub. Not the toilet which was next to the bathtub, but in to the bathtub. It took a lot of bleach before I could ever set foot into that shower tub combo again. Who in the hell throws up into a bathtub intentionally? My husband, of course.  Being the loving wife that I am, I demanded to know what he was doing to my tub. He said he doesn't throw up in toilets. People go to the bathroom there. My husband is prissy about where he barfs. I am prissy about where I take a shower and where I do my dishes, so when he gets sick, I run to protect my showers and sinks.
Today while I was preparing drinks with straws and a cool cloth for Dustin's head, I was remembering the first time I got food poisoning. Perhaps I had it before that time, but this was the one I really remember. And I can't remember it without laughing until I cry. It was the summer of 1986  and boy was it hot. Karen and I were living in a one room apartment in Venice Beach and we had no air-conditioning. We had one bathroom. Our brother, Tod, was staying with us. Karen and I shared a double bed that was pushed up next to a wall. I slept on the wall side. Tod slept on a small couch. Like many other days that summer, we all bought  a ticket to see a movie and just stayed in the air-conditioned theater eating popcorn and Reese's Peanut Butter Cups all day. We saw a lot of movies in one day,many times. That day, Tod and I shared a packet of peanut butter cups and Karen had the popcorn. We went home when the sun went down and we went to bed. Hours later, I woke in a sweat with the worst stomach pains ever. I thought I was dying wedged between Karen and the wall. I was in too much pain to toss and turn and was afraid if I did either of those things I might explode in the bed. I laid there still. Sweating. And then I heard the sounds I'll never forget. Oh my God. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh my God. Oh Shit. It didn't sound like my voice but those were my thoughts. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh my GOD!!!!! Make way!
Tod was moaning on the coach, tossing and turning like a sky on a stormy night. He bolted from the couch, tripped over his shoes, and started undressing on his way to the single toilet in our apartment. The toilet I really needed to use, if only I could toss myself over Karen. If only I could beat him to the bathroom. If only I could move. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh my GOD! Oh shit. He slammed the bathroom door. Oh shit. Oh shit. I am dying! Oh shit.
 My hands were clutching my own stomach as Tod's chant continued. I did not dare look at Karen (who was un-poisoned)  because I could not laugh hysterically while trying not to ruin the bed. Being the loving sister that I am, I demanded he hurry up because someone else needed to use the toilet, too.
Oh shit. Oh shit. I think those peanut butter cups were bad.
I have no idea how I made it out of the bed, but I did just as Tod was exiting. I'd never been so happy to see a toilet with a working flusher in my life.
There's a reason we barf in toilets, Dear.

little sweeties

I had such a good day today that I almost forgot how bad my hair looks. My camera and I had the honor and privilege of visiting the famous Hansen's Cakes of Beverly Hills  (yes, I went to Beverly Hills with Fang Hair) where I was treated like royalty and ate cake like it was my last day on this planet. A planet full of sweet, soft, delicious cake with just the right amount of frosting. Carrot cake, marble  with chocolate chip frosting, lemon coconut, chocolate mocha, sponge and strawberry, red velvet ~ each one better than the bite before it. Wait, was I dead and in heaven? I think so. There's frosting all over my camera so it must be true that I was really there!
I have posted a few photos of the deliciousness in my flickr. I am sure some of these sweeties will be making future appearances in some art and one of the sweeties from the cake team will be making an appearance in this little book* of ours.

If you need a cake or cupcakes for a special event or just because you have raging PMS and bad haircut and need some comforting, get in touch with the fine folks at Hansen's. You will not be sorry. You can even walk in off the street and get a nice big cupcake for less than $2. I love them. 

*Coming soon, very soon! Yay!

oh no you don't

Just some stuff~

*We have always been really fond of the Juicy Couture ad campaigns. We're not so fond of the clothes with JUICY on the butt, but the ad campaigns have always been really cool. Their new campaign has a great new slogan and it's plastered all over magazines, ads, and store walls and windows. And there's a huge ERROR that apparently not one person caught before everything was printed. Their slogan is DO THE DON'TS. Actually, their slogan is DO THE DONT'S. They put the apostrophe between the T and the S instead of between the N and the T, where it belongs. Hmmmm. Juicy People, DO THE PROOFING!

*Yesterday, I was out doing some shopping and when I got back to my car, the car next to me was parked way too close and I had to do that sideways maneuver to get in that  requires you toss your bags and purse in first then you try to edge in twisty shoulder first. I finally get in, I'm putting on my seat belt and BAM! BAM! BAM! I get the bejesus scared out of me by a crazy looking -frothy at the mouth-woman banging loudly on my driver's side window. She had a toddler in a stroller and was banging on my car and was fast and furiously rubbing a dirty HELP ME I AM HOMELESS AND NEED MONEY sign all over my window. I have no idea how she fit in the space between the two cars with her stroller. Maybe she was in the car next to mine. I don't know. She totally startled me with her sudden violent banging  so I banged back and told her to fuck off. I know, I know, not the most compassionate response. It's hard to be generous or compassionate when your heart is pounding out of your chest and you feel trapped. She moved on to another woman getting in her car. Of course I feel sorry for homeless moms (don't send me hate mail). In that moment, though, I was more scared than feeling sorry for anyone. If you want people to help you, don't scare the shit out of them.

*Our medical insurance no longer covers non-generic prescription medications. This is the lamest thing ever. Generic migraine medications do not work at all. The problem is you don't know this until you've been taking the placebo pills for a month and are dying of migraines and real migraine drug withdrawal. Pretty soon I am going to be banging on car windows with a sign that says HELP ME I HAVE A MIGRAINE.

a pair of horns

Today We're FEELIN' GROOVY about:
Nothing. I got the worst haircut ever and it's all I can think about. It's all Karen is hearing about. It's all that is happening.

Our Bêtes Noires:
~I got the worst fucking haircut EVER! I even said at the time that it was flawed and wrong and ways to fix and it and the stylist just suggested that um wool I might like it better when I go home and blow dry it myself. The back and front are not connected and I think there are STEPS in the back but every time I go to look I nearly faint. If I put gel in the back I could be the Jewish Geisha Kate Gosselin. Photos here and here (of course). I am going to a new stylist to get repaired on friday.
~People these days just put a mask on and call it a Halloween costume. What happened to costume planning? When we were kids we'd spend weeks planning our costumes made of boxes and paper and glue. Costumes need not be expensive but shouldn't they be more than just a pair of horns on a headband or a mask? We think so.
~Women calling themselves COUGARS to sound all hot and sexy. Oh come on. It's just lame. Real really confident women don't need to call themselves pussycat to be attractive.
~My dumbass boyfriend Trader Joe has discontinued the bbq chicken in the tub. I have no idea what my husband and I will eat now. This cougar better find some new meat.
~As soon as I announce that I am super busy with a deadline to meet, everyone wants me to do stuff with them then gets all pissy when I say I can't right now. Even if I could, my hair looks too bad for me to leave the house. Sorry.

black seeds

Little black seeds that resemble bugs are a bad idea in salads.  I think they are a bad idea in most foods, but especially so in salad. Bugs do live in lettuce. The Pasadena Salad from my Boyfriend Joe is really good but it takes 3 hours to eat it because you have to check to make sure each seed is not a flea, legless ant, or cockroach and after all that, you just aren't hungry anymore.