JOURNAL REVOLUTION

Super Redecorate The Bedroom Sunday

We love Super Bowl Sunday. We have no idea what teams are playing or who  the half-time entertainment is this year. But  we got plenty of snacks and treats to eat while we get stuff done while everyone else watches football. And by everyone else we mean the men in our houses. Yes, we know some women like football  but we are not those women. In celebration of having a day to do stuff around the house (Karen is finally hanging art on her walls!), or to play, or get caught up, I am offering free shipping on all original art on canvas in my shop. I've also added some brand new prints, just in case Super Bowl Sunday is Super Redecorate The Bedroom Sunday at your house.

not a rock star

It's funny how "rock star" is suddenly a compliment. I've been watching a lot of documentaries and reading very fine literature (People Magazine) and have concluded that most  (but not all) rock stars were/are drug addicts, binge drinkers, commit felonies,have unsafe sex with dumb people, and stay stuck in whatever year they had the most sex with dumb people while on drugs even if that was the year their hair looked the worst. Even odder, is that this is mostly the  rock 'n' roll rock  people. The Heavy Metalers were way tamer! Well, not the Norwegian Death Metal people, they are frightening. Being a famous rock star seems like a very hard life.
So, wouldn't a better compliment be YOU ARE SUCH A COMPUTER GEEK? Or YOU ARE SUCH AN IT WIZARD? Or how about we stop comparing people to celebrities and just say GREAT JOB?

*Palladia hasn't aired any documentaries on the techies yet so I can't compare their bad habits.

shining bright

Today We're FEELIN' GROOVY about:
~Meeting In The Ladies Room was featured at afterellen.com and EurOut.com. Karen, Pam and I are so thrilled with support our book is getting on an international level and by such diverse audiences. We are so grateful! We'll be giving away more signed books and prizes soon.
~Dawn Langstroth's Highwire CD. I know it's already been on the list but I still listen to it every day! It's giving my Brandi Carlile CDs some stiff competition.
~Trader Joe's Sesame Soy Ginger Vinaigrette.
~Sonny finally found out that Dominic/Dante is his son. That took long enough!
~My crock pot. I've been asking the Buddha of What's For Dinner to bless the crock pot inventor every night.
~A light bulb that was dead in my bathroom for weeks suddenly came back to life and is shining bright.  It must be the light at the end of the tunnel!

Our Bêtes Noires:
~Calls with customer service departments when the customer service person asks how they can help me at the beginning of the call then the call ends with them telling me they can't help me. I know we complain about this a lot but customer service everywhere still sucks.
~People are still using sexy photos of breasts to remind women to get mammograms. How come I never see sexy elbow photos to remind people to get tested for bone cancer? I don't think I have ever seen a photo of a butt in cute undies to remind me to get checked for colorectal cancer. Why are sexy breasts ok to advertise breast cancer awareness? It's just stupid.
~Nurses need to stop taking a patient's blood pressure AFTER WEIGHING THEM, especially if that patient has raging PMS or has just knocked over her urine sample. I am sure the national rates of high blood pressure in women will be reduced dramatically if blood pressure is checked before the patient is weighed, not after.
~A light bulb that was dead in my bathroom for weeks suddenly came back to life and is shining bright. The world is about to end.

*LEMONADE prints are available in my shop.

sometimes my cat

When we first got Suki, there were two things people asked me the most. The first thing was about how soon she'd be sleeping in bed with us (never) and the second was how soon would I be making cat art. Oh how that cracked me up! Actually, I have made cat (and pig! and horse!) art before but I haven't posted it here because often art I do for corporate or advertising clients involves a contract that prohibits me from posting the art in public before they do.
Every night before we go to bed, I put the dishes in the dishwasher and I clean off the counters. There's a window behind our sink with those horizontal slat blinds that little kids and cats get tangled in when you aren't looking.  I raise them a bit so heaven forbid if Suki ever got up there she wouldn't get stuck in them and then somehow accidentally fall down the disposal. That could totally happen (to me). I go to bed and then a few hours later (without fail) I am awakened from Ambien dreams by a thump and a cat's chatty meows. I drag myself out of bed (where Suki isn't sleeping with us) and there she is, sitting on my clean kitchen counter,  next to our orange walls with the light of the moon shining on her, meowing at her reflection in the window

It was cute the first time.

Sometimes My Cat prints are available in my shop.

*Only sometimes do I wish that. Never on rainy days. We love our Suki.

gnome-shaped

I think I am going to trick that power that bes by saying there's no way things can get better every few minutes and see how that works. Things keep getting worse just when I think they can't or shouldn't.
While I have been going through life figuring out how we will survive the next year on way less income with way more bills, I've had  those symptoms that made me think I had an enlarged prostate. I didn't really want to spend more money or time going to the doctor who would prescribe medication I already had from some other infection. No need to lecture me, I know. But I have google and it's the best doctor ever. My symptoms started to go away and then I got other symptoms that happen after using antibiotics.  My sudden urge to pee was replaced with a sudden urge to find ice to sit on. Luckily, I had antibiotics for that, too.  To be extra safe I kept drinking the cranberry juice and taking the cranberry tablets and staying as far away from anything that even rhymed with yeast. I didn't even make right turns while driving if that direction was was east.
I was feeling better and had not spent too much on curing myself. Whew.
Then I woke up with throbbing lower back and side pain and I was done. I gave up my Starbucks budget and went to the doctor.  When I got there, the nurse handed me a cup and asked for a urine sample. The cup was really small and had an odd gnome-shaped lid on it. The bathroom was really big but had NO COUNTERS in it or any place to set the lid or the cup down. There wasn't even a hook on the door to hang something on. I had taken my jacket off in the exam room but was still wearing my scarf with my t-shirt and jeans. So- small cup, long scarf, nowhere to put anything. And this wasn't even a gas station bathroom! After the last 2 years of taking photos in bathrooms, this was going to be one of my biggest challenges. I got the lid off the cup and held it and my scarf in one hand while I got the sample. But then,  the little cup got full fast and I didn't want to pee all over my hand so I set it down next to the toilet, far from my feet and my scarf. And my jeans. And my shoes. And even though the full sample cup was far from my feet, somehow when I got up to flush, I knocked the cup over. My left hand grabbed my scarf and my right hand grabbed the cup, but there was already a puddle on the floor. There was still some pee in the cup, so I set it on the ground as far away from me as I could. I tried to clean up the puddle with crumpled toilet seat covers and one-ply toilet paper, while trying to keep my scarf dry. Of course there was no paper towel in there, only one of those air hand dryers. Oh my fucking god. I was laughing so hard. I wish I'd had my camera with me.
I handed the nurse my sample and hoped it would be enough. I told her how I spilled it in the bathroom and that they might want to clean it with something better than toilet seat covers and tap water and she just stared at me, which made me laugh even more. So I suggested they keep paper towels and Clorox spray in the bathroom for the next poor soul who kicks over her urine sample and she just kept staring at me.
The doctor gave me a new prescription to cure my kidney infection and told me to come back in 3 days if the pain is not better. If I have to go back, I am not going back. I am now the girl who peed all over the bathroom with her foot.

pineapple acid sand

We don't really like to stay at anyone's house. We are always too hot or too cold and when you are at someone else's house you don't have control over how cold or hot they keep their house.  We especially hate staying at someone's house those times when you really need a garbage can in a bathroom and there is not one. How do you not have a garbage can in a bathroom? And we always end up breaking things at other houses because we don't know how anyone else's house works. There's always a toilet we can't figure out how to flush, a shower we can't turn on, a glass of something that stains that we will spill, a vase we'll drop. Once while house-sitting, Karen even drove her friend's car right into the wall in the garage when she wasn't used to such a close turn. We're just always better off at our own houses. Or a hotel.
Of course, it is different when your brother or sister stays with you. You don't need to repeatedly tell them to turn on the fan  before they get in the shower so the mirror won't fog up. They grew up with you, they know how it works. You aren't supposed to turn it on when you get out of the shower and the mirror is already fogged up. Turn it on before you get in the shower- no fog! I always have to explain this to house guests and they look at me all baffled and then turn the fan on when they get out of the shower. Um wool....
I can't ever remember what people tell me to do in their houses either. It's ok.
The other night our little brother spent the night.And by little, I mean 39 years old.  Since he's my brother, I didn't clean up or do anything special. I didn't even check to see which soaps were in the shower.  Usually what's in my shower are multiple soaps. One moisturizing soap, one scented soap, and one citrusy exfoliating soap (with sand or something in it)  that is great for getting paint off your hands. All these soaps are clearly labeled. Each one has its own purpose. I put towels out for Tod then hid the Ambien and Lidocaine patches. He's been here before, he knows how the shower works. He can choose which soap suits his needs by reading the labels on the bottles.
I was so wrong. Apparently, my brother doesn't read the labels on soap bottles and just lathers up without looking. During the last few conversations I have had with my brother, I have heard all about how my "pineapple acid sand soap" has caused some major discomfort and perhaps bleeding on his delicate skin. How could I keep such a torture device in my shower? Why would anyone want to rub that sandy acid all over their bodies?! WHY? WHY? WHY?
I can't stop laughing.  Once Karen and I stayed at our cousin's house for a visit. In her shower she had that Origins ginger scrub stuff that everyone was talking about like 12 years ago. It smelled like Chinese food so I totally wanted to try it! I didn't want the Chinese food smell near my face so I rubbed a bit on my feet and KABLAM! I slipped in the shower. That ginger acid sand stuff is really slippery! Water and bits of ginger acid sand splashed everywhere in her tiny bathroom! Why did I put that on my feet? Why? Why? WHY?
I was bruised (not bleeding) but my feet were really soft.

*We do like to have house guests ~ especially the ones we don't clean the house for and who laugh heartily with us when they break our houses or are the victims of bad soap in our showers.

trying not to trip

Writer (and Ladies Room Lady) Jules Torti recently blogged the ten things she can't live without. Then she emailed everyone and told us she is really nosy and could we all blog the things we can't live without. Normally we don't blog on demand or do those chain email/bloggy things but she specifically said this was not one of those things. And, it's always fun to see what people can't live without. I told Jules I was pretty sure that thinking of what we could live without would surely be easier.  We are simple girls, we don't need much. Or do we?

1. Peanut butter. And chocolate. And cream cheese. And bread. And sometimes all together.
2. Our iPhones. I was going to say a camera, email, navigation, and text, but that would take up almost half our list and the iPhone is all that rolled into one. I don't actually talk on my iPhone but it has made life so much easier. And, my daily carry-around bag is so much lighter. Sure, I can't figure out how to use the map thing but I can take pictures of where I am going and  where I have been, then text Karen and ask her how to get back.
3. Volumizer (for me) and De-frizzer (for Karen) and a blow dryer. Our days just go better when our hair looks good.
4. Lotion (for me) and chapstick (for Karen). Dry skin and chapped lips, who could live with that? Oh and long-wear lipstick for Karen. She has never in this lifetime been seen without lipstick. Ever.
5. A microwave. Hey, we have to eat. Now don't be saying it is unhealthy and causes cancer. Even Linda McCartney made microwave versions of her vegetarian meals. She was a vegetarian who got cancer. Hmmm. Maybe the veggies are the problem, not the microwaves.  The life lesson we got from Karen being cancery certainly was not restrict yourself and avoid making s'mores in the microwave. Oooh, add marshmallows to number 1. Everything in moderation.
6.San Francisco. It's one of the best cities ever and when we can't get to Europe, it's a close second. Beautiful architecture, water, bridges, art, color, culture, good food, freedom, childhood memories.
7. My treadmill and an hour. Right after my microwaved dinner I love my hour alone with my thoughts and some music~ just walking, thinking, planning, plotting, texting and trying to not trip.
8. Heating and air-conditioning and we like to be in control of the thermostat.
9. Gum. Wint-o-green for Karen and Cinnamon for me.
10. Ambien and Caffeine (not together). I don't think either of those needs explanation if you ever used them. Ambien makes good sleep and it makes cross country air travel take only half an hour. Caffeine helps the headache and keeps you awake to wander the city, or you know, get your work done.

Ok, that is really more than ten since we smooshed some together. We are rule breakers. We didn't list loved ones and pets because we wouldn't have had room to list the drugs and gum...and obviously we can't live without each other.

What can't you live without?

time for a love fest

Valentine's Day is a really fun holiday when you are about 35 years old. It can be fun when you're younger if you get early on that the only people really good at Valentine's Day are women and gay men. At around 35 you realize it's ok to just go ahead and buy all the good chocolate for yourself and for your girlfriends because it's a day about love, and loving yourself matters. And really, if you wait around for some man to do whatever it is you think he should know to do but he doesn't because he is a man, then you'll wait forever. We all have friends who don't get that yet and we end up spending the day after Valentine's Day sharing our left-over chocolates and buying them extra gifts and trying to explain why men are dumb. If you are into Valentine's Day, Meeting In The Ladies Room is a perfect gift for the girls~ the girls under 35, over 35, and even your gay male friends who just love women! It's a perfect Valentine's gift. It's hard to feel alone with all these ladies sharing their lives with you. Unless you want to be alone, and then you can just close the book.
If you order your books now, they should be here in time for your love fest.

Check out some of these reviews!

"Meeting in the Ladies Room is an insightful, exciting, playful - sometimes naughty - peek at what goes on behind the door and in front of the mirror. This is a book that will make you stop and really think about who you are and what you stand for. And after soaking up every page and photo, you'll want to embrace your own ladies room and create your own I AM ART statement!"
~Kathy Cano-Murillo, Artist and Author of Crafty Chica's Art de la Soul

"Meeting in the Ladies Room is one of the most thought-provoking books I've read all year. Throughout its pages, authors Linda Woods and Karen Dinino and dozens of other women embrace and confront the vast array of ideas, hopes and dreams that catch one's inner voice unaware in this private space. The photos and short essays are fascinating."
~Shannon Okey, Author/Editor, knitgrrl.com

"A book that is bold and brave and reminds us just how complex, challenged, strong and amazing we are as women. "
~Alisa Burke, Artist and Author of Canvas Remix

"It's filled with luscious photographs with yummy colors and textures and visuals...It makes you think. It makes you laugh. It makes you cry."
~Kelly Kilmer, Mixed-Media Artist

swish

We have this counter area that separates our kitchen from a seating area. There are two tall chairs there and it's also a good spot for lighting and I often work there with my laptop. I like it because I can move one of there chairs and stand there to work and everything is just the right height. I have plenty of room for the laptop, my iPhone, a handful of peanut butter cups, and my drink with a straw. I almost always drink from a straw, especially since I got the pricey fake teeth that feel kind of weird with hot and cold stuff. The counter is also one of the few places Suki never goes. The other night I was working on something with my drink (on the counter) by my side and stepped away for a few minutes to help my husband with something. I came back to the counter and started working on stuff. I needed a drink and as soon as I felt the straw in my mouth I realized the counter is not really a place that Suki never goes. And, she likes straws. I immediately ran to the kitchen and spit the Diet Coke and whatever cat saliva residue was left on my straw out in the sink and then had to swish like 25 times. I was pretty sure there was somehow kitty litter in my mouth too because cats lick everything. Then of course I had to take a photo of the straw Suki bit to death without me noticing until it was in my mouth.
I check my drink every time I take a sip now.

Apples, trees and cupcakes

Today We're FEELIN' GROOVY about:
~There are new prints in my shop- apples, trees, and cupcakes, OH MY!
~The Dark Chocolate Covered Butter Biscuits from Trader Joe's. They taste like chocolate covered matzo! There are too few per package, tho.
~My newly (temporarily) disabled husband has started blogging while he is recovering in an effort to keep from going insane and to keep his one hand busy. Before you click over to read his thoughts and see his awesome photos, keep in mind he is a man and swears a lot. Also, he is typing with his left hand and is right-handed. His right hand and arm are being held hostage in an awkward sling.
~Modern Family. That show cracks me up.
~Conan O'Brien. I'd say we were on Team Conan but we hate the "teaming" of things.
~We finally tried the "new" Domino's pizza and it was so much better than the old version! It wasn't the best pizza I have ever had but certainly good enough for nights when you don't want to cook or leave the house. It's also easy to eat with just one hand (according to the gimp in the house). We really did not like the old pizza. If you did like it, you probably won't like the new one.

Our Bêtes Noires:
~I either have an enlarged prostate or a bladder infection. I think we can rule out the prostate problem. I haven't had a bladder infection in about 30 years but I have been dealing with MoFo insurance agencies, doctors offices and morons for the last 30 days and I am not motivated to go to a doctor yet. So, I am treating myself with gallons of cranberry juice, left over amoxicillan from some other infection, and Azo stuff. If I am dead in a week, this is why.
~Cranberry juice hasn't improved in 30 years.
~I have not gotten caught up with the wives of OC for two weeks. Did Tamra make up with Gretchen? Has Alexis realized her husband is a controlling jerk?
~Jay Leno. What a jerk. We never watched his show before but we really won't now.
~Rain seems to start the second either of us leaves the house without an umbrella. Karen's hair just loves rain.